


refuse to look back thinking days were better

by mohritz



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Asexual Jughead, Childhood Friends, Developing Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Strained Friendships, ends happy though??, homeless jug, mention of grundy, this is kinda sad idk, where is jellybean? who knows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 21:54:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9847505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mohritz/pseuds/mohritz
Summary: (just because they're younger days)Jughead likes Riverdale High at seven in the morning. It’s quiet, calm. The halls are peaceful, and he can hear the steps he makes echo around the corridor as he walks. He doesn’t have to weave his way around people who don’t even know his name or attempt to avoid certain people in the lunch hall.Certain people being Archie.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jehoney](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jehoney/gifts).



> hello this is me trying to be Less Sad about the ending of 1x04
> 
> enjoy
> 
> title is from kids by one republic

Jughead likes Riverdale High at seven in the morning. It’s quiet, calm. The halls are peaceful, and he can hear the steps he makes echo around the corridor as he walks. He doesn’t have to weave his way around people who don’t even know his name or attempt to avoid certain people in the lunch hall.

Certain people being Archie.

He sighs, trying to shake the memories of the Fourth of July that still linger in some part of his mind. Put them in a box, lock them away for later, he tries to remind himself as he navigates the long corridors. He can deal with Archie Andrews some other time – or never.

He opens the door to the sports block, muttering a quick ‘thank you’ under his breath to the janitor who forgot to lock it the night before. Putting his backpack down carefully, he takes a deep breath.

“Well, ya gotta do this someday,” Jughead reasons with himself, trying not to look at the cubicles in disgust. He suddenly remembers that Reggie uses the very same showers, and has to do everything in his power to will himself to stay there.

He strips down and enters one of the cubicles, vowing to shower as fast as he can. He’d rather have time to grab some form of breakfast from Pop’s, he thinks, than go the first few hours of the day hungry.

As soon as he’s done, he quickly dresses again, managing to remember to put on one of the other four t-shirts he has on him. It wouldn’t do to arouse suspicion.

“Not that anyone would notice anyway,” he says quietly to himself bitterly, letting his mouth curl up in a smile.

He digs in his bag for his toothbrush and toothpaste, managing to salvage the tube from where it had flattened itself in very bottom corner. As he brushes his teeth he makes a face at himself in the mirror above the sink before remembering the time. He gurgles some water, once, twice before shoving his hat on, grabbing his bag, and rushing out the changing rooms and around the corner.

He’s so concerned with getting something to eat that he doesn’t see Archie coming in the opposite direction. That, however, doesn't mean Archie doesn't see him.

“Jug?” he questions. Jughead stops short, his head snapping up in surprise.

“Uh, Archie, hey,” he scratches the back of his neck.

“What are you doing here? The school isn’t even open yet.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Early practice. You’re avoiding my questions.”

“Suddenly you’ve got a lot of questions. I suppose I should think it refreshing after almost three months of radio silence,” Jughead responds, a scathing tone to his voice. “But I don’t, and I really need to go. So. See you later.”

He moves to leave, but Archie stops him.

“Jughead, seriously. Why are you here so early? You’ve always been such a heavy sleeper…” he trails off.

“If you've gotta know, Weatherbee asked me to do some stuff for Film Club next week. I just finished and was going to go and get breakfast.”

“You were setting up for the Film Club a week in advance at 7am on a Wednesday morning?”

“Well, Archie, it’s actually none of your business, so-”

“Why are you holding a toothbrush?”

Jughead is quick to respond. “It’s not mine.”

“What?” his gaze is confused, questioning, and Jughead really wishes he were anywhere but standing in front of Archie Andrews.

“I… found it,” he manages to get out. “Lying on the ground near the changing rooms.”

Archie ignores this. “Your hair is wet too.”

“It’s gel.”

“That’s a lot of gel.”

“Well, you would know, Mr Popular Football God,” he shoots back, pushing past the other boy. He plans to hightail it out of there, to walk as fast as he can to Pop’s and then avoid Archie for the rest of time.

“Jug, wait!” Archie calls after him, and that’s all that it takes for Jughead to snap. He turns around sharply.

“I did wait, Archie! I waited all of July 4th, in fact, in a booth at Pop’s. Except you wouldn’t know, because you never showed,” he throws his hands up. “So, pal, don’t tell me to wait as if you have a say anymore.”

Archie is silent. He shouldn’t have expected anything else, Jughead thinks bitterly. Archie never cared, not really. He makes to leave again, hoisting his bag higher on his shoulders.

“I’m sorry.”

He pauses. Archie’s texted him, called him, even put a note in his locker, but he’s never said those words to Jughead in person.

“I was a shitty friend, Jug. I’m really sorry. You didn’t deserve it.” Archie closes his eyes, and Jughead knows him well enough to know he’s trying to steady his breathing. “I shouldn’t have chosen Miss Grundy over you.”

“You shouldn’t have chosen Grundy over anyone,” Jughead replies, and he hates how he can hear his voice softening. “She manipulated you, Arch.”

“I know. I know, and I’m sorry, and I want to help you, no matter how bad a friend I’ve been for the past few months,” Archie gestures to Jughead’s backpack. “So please. What’s up with you?”

Just like that, all the energy drains from Jughead’s body. He slumps, weary and tired, and rubs his face with his sleeve. “Can we… go back to yours? I’m exhausted and could do with getting this damn thing off my back.”

“I’ll have to tell coach, but yeah. Of course. Wait here,” he reaches out a hand as if to touch Jughead’s shoulder, but seems to think better of it. He runs off to find the rest of the team.

Jughead is left standing alone, staring at the wall where some of the paint has been chipped away. It reminds him of when he and Archie used to carve their initials into things – trees, classroom walls. They used to write them on the sidewalk in chalk. They were near inseparable.

It's a pity chalk washes away.

Archie’s not gone five minutes before Jughead can hear the telltale sound of his feet jogging down the corridor. He gives him a hesitant smile as he approaches from around the corner.

“Okay, all good. You ready?” he says.

“Ready as I’ll ever be, Archibald,” Jughead forces himself to smile at least a little.

He can’t let Archie see what he’s hiding. He was supposed to be able to do this. Live on his own. Cope without his dad. Move on from the memory of Jellybean leaving, of Hot Dog, of his mom. This feels like failure.

He swallows the acidic taste in his mouth, following his friend into the school car park. He shoves his bag in the back before getting into the front passenger seat, watching Archie climb in next to him. They haven’t even left the grounds when Jughead laughs, harsh and humourless.

“What?” Archie says, puzzled.

“No, it’s nothing,” Jughead shakes his head in bitter amusement. “It’s just – how ironic is this? The long forgotten road trip, remembered after all.”

Archie smiles a little in response. It’s somewhat sad, regretful, and Jughead kicks himself inwardly for being so harsh.

“Sorry, Arch,” his voice is hesitant. “That was uncalled for.”

“It’s okay,” Archie shrugs. “I was a douche.”

“You were, but I might let it slide,” Jughead looks pointedly at him. “You’re gonna owe me so many burgers, man.”

“Fair enough.”

They both laugh a little, and that seems to shift something between them. They drive the rest of the way in silence. It’s not uncomfortable, Jughead thinks, just nice. Normal. Everything his life should be.

His stomach sinks as he remembers the conversation Archie is going to want to have once they reach his house. The other boy seems to notice this and shoots him a concerned look. He’s always been able to read Jughead much better than he’d prefer, knows when he’s uncomfortable or upset. The day after Jellybean left, Archie had sat with him the entire school day, shooting glares at anyone who might try to bother Jughead or antagonise him. He’d been an anchor.

He’s pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of the engine turning off.

“Here we are,” Archie says. “I’ll get your bag.”

“No!” Jughead protests. “It’s fine. I’m not your damsel in distress, dude.”

Archie rolls his eyes, but doesn’t say anything. Once Jughead has his bag, they walk up the porch steps to his front door.

“My dad is in, but he won’t mind,” Archie tells Jughead quickly as he opens the door. “Just go upstairs. I’ll be with you in a second.”

Jughead nods and heads up the stairs. Nothing seems to have changed since the last time he was here. Same pictures on the wall, same wood floor he and Archie used to slide along in their socks when they were ten years old.

He pushes open the door to Archie’s bedroom, letting his pack slide off his shoulders. He sinks down onto the bed in relief, shutting his eyes.

Archie’s quick to follow him upstairs. He enters quietly, slipping off his shoes and sitting down next to Jughead. “Sorry, I just had to let dad know you were here.”

“It’s cool,” Jughead sits up, staring at the ceiling, pointedly avoiding Archie’s gaze. There is silence for a few moments.

“Are we going to talk-"

"I don't know, are we?"

"Don't try to shut me out," Archie says, tone surprisingly sharp. "I know you, Juggie, and I know something is wrong."

Jughead closes his eyes at the nickname and tries to ignore the wave of nostalgia and sadness he feels at the fact things can probably never be like they used to. He swallows and shuts his eyes.

"I don't have anywhere to go," he says quietly, almost inaudible.

"What?" Archie frowns.

"I've been living at the Drive In," Jughead says simply. "I couldn't stay with Dad any longer."

"And now they're knocking it down," Archie's voice is full of understanding as the events of the morning fit together like puzzle pieces. "Jug..."

"I don't need your pity, Andrews," Jughead's tone is biting, defensive. Anything to stop Archie from getting too close. Jughead doesn't think he could take any more heartbreak.

"Maybe not, but you do need a place to stay, and you're staying here for as long as you need to."

Jughead turns to look at Archie quickly, eyes wide in shock. He expected Archie to help him find somewhere to stay at the most, maybe let him crash for a couple of days, but not this.

"Archie, I can't ask you to do that," he shakes his head.

"Jughead, this is home. It's always been home. It always will be, no matter how shitty I behave or how bad a fight we have. You're staying here, okay?" Archie gets up. "I'm just going to go and tell Dad."

He moves to get up, to go downstairs and explain everything, until he hears a broken sob from behind him. He turns around quickly to see Jughead curled up, collapsed, his small frame engulfed by the covers on the bed. He cries: broken, harsh noises that tear at Archie from inside.

"Juggie," he whispers, kneeling down beside him, moving a stray curl out of Jughead's eyes.

He waits like that for several minutes until Jughead calms down, stops crying quite so hard. Getting up, he moves to lie down beside the other boy, before hesitating.

"Is this okay?" he asks, and Jughead sniffs and nods.

Once they're both settled, Archie takes a moment to look at Jughead. His eyes are closed with exhaustion, but there's bags underneath them, proof that he hasn't slept properly for days. He's lost weight too. Archie hates himself for not noticing.

"It's going to be okay," he mutters, and Jughead opens his eyes for a moment to look at Archie.

"Hopefully," he says, voice quiet. "As long as you're here."

"I will be," Archie responds. "I promise."

Jughead smiles a little at that, letting his eyes fall shut again. "Good. Like I said, you owe me burgers anyway."

Archie laughs, gentle and happy. "So many burgers."


End file.
